Inner Hinata
by Meridia-Marjani
Summary: Theres an Inner Sakura and even an Inner Ino, so what about Inner Hinata?
1. Drugs Are Not the Answer Hinata!

Inner Hinata

_Disclaimer: No own Naruto or Hinata…too bad, she would kick ass if I did…_

_Hullo, I know I should be working on my other story!! But per usual, I got an idea and I had to follow it. Inner Hinata's lines will be in italics._

(This part takes place at the start of the Chuunin exams)

_"C'mon!, C'mon Hinata…just walk up to him and talk!!_

"N-No get out of my head!!"

_"Stop being so shy! Invite him for some ramen for after the Chuunin exams; he'll take you to his apartment…!"_

"A-Are you suggesting me...and Naruto!!"

_"I'm not just suggesting! Oh good god listen! Kiba's bothering Naruto, say something!!"_

Hinata listening in on Kiba and Naruto's outbursts mustered up all her courage to talk to Naruto.

"S-sorry Naruto, Kiba didn't mean it in that way..." Hinata said twiddling her fingers.

_"…that's the best you can say?"_

"Oh! You be quiet!"

_"And stop twiddling your fingers…it makes you look psycho"_

"Why won't you let me be?"

_"Naruto's looking at you"_

"Eep!!"

Hinata snapped out of her mental conversation to see Naruto looking at her. She immediately looked away.

Weirdo, Naruto thought as he saw Hinata look at him then look away, why won't she ever look me in the face?

_"Dammit Hinata why won't you look him in the face!" (Inner Hinata face palms herself)_

"…I can't help it"

_"We're never going to get anywhere with Naruto if you keep acting like this!"_

"W-we?

_"I'm you Hinata…if you never accept this side of yourself, we're going to have to share him…I've got some great ideas for the bedroom…!"_

"Hell no!!" Hinata shouted, while Kabuto was showing everyone his cards, without realizing it.

Everyone stopped listening to Kabuto and stared at Hinata.

"Oh...umm, s-sorry everyone" Hinata muttered blushing and looking away.

_"Ha-ha, this is good, very good! More outbursts like that and we'll be able to see Naruto naked in no time and without Byakugan this time!"_

"H-Hey you said you'd never mention that!"

_Inner Hinata shrugs her shoulders "I lied"_

Real Hinata sighs and takes a deep breath pushing Inner Hinata (kicking and screeching in her head) back into the recesses of her mind.

"Are you alright Hinata?" Kiba asks as Kabuto gets whipped around by the sound ninja.

"Y-yes I'm fine" Hinata says smiling.

But, Hinata mutters looking at Sakura and Ino, I won't be taking drugs from them for a while. They'll help me have confidence they say, pft!

Then Hinata went back to actually paying attention to what Instructor Ibiki was saying.

_There! So that's why there is an Inner Sakura and Inner Ino! Its drugs!! Muhahaha!I love Hinata but this was fun to write! I might keep it a one-shot I might not. It depends, please review. _


	2. IQ Level of a Cashew

_Okay this is now a collaboration between me (this is Marjani because Meridia is out for the weekend) and big sis Elriga. Not because I want to work with her…she just won't leave the computer desk (oww, Elriga stop hitting!). So don't blame me if the humor has a bit of…Elriganess. _

Italics like _this_, means Inner Hinata's talking (or more like thinking)

Parentheses like (this) mean me and Elriga are adding our little commentary in (only for the sake of humor mind you and all of it has to do w/ the story!)

_Disclaimer: Neither of us own Naruto, even though Elriga thinks she does _

(This takes place during the written part of the Chuunin Exams)

While Instructor Ibiki was explaining the rules of the first part of the Chuunin Exam, Hinata bent over her desk and reached into her coat pocket, grabbing a couple of pills. She popped them into her mouth and swallowed. She knew she shouldn't be taking anymore of the "inner" pills, but they were just to damn good!

Not to mention Naruto was sitting next to her. Oh Naruto. How she adored his loud obnoxious voice, his childish yelling, his bright orange jumpsuit, his…wait a second, why does Hinata like Naruto? (Really why? Shut up Elriga and keep writing!).

Anyway even though she knew taking the pills was wrong (remember kids, drugs are bad!), she needed the confidence of Inner Hinata to not become an emotional wreck sitting beside Naruto like this. She could already feel the telltale blush riding up her checks.

_"Ha-ha, you said 'riding'" Inner Hinata laughed mentally poking Hinata in the chest. _

"I only want you here so that I don't faint during the test!" Hinata grumbled, "After today, I'm destroying all the pills Ino and Sakura gave me!"

_"Of course of course" Inner Hinata said smiling and waving her hands, "But I think you should look to your left!"_

Hinata did as she said, and lo and behold, Naruto was making an utter fool of himself rolling on the floor, and hitting his fists on his head among other things.

"H-He's just having a little trouble with the test that's all…n-nothing major!" Hinata thought, trying to smile it off.

_"Face it girl, your crush needs a straight jacket and a warehouse full of Ritalin" _

"You be quiet!" Hinata hissed at the other Hinata.

_"Fine, but if Naruto fails how will we be able to stalk him in the Forest of Death?"_

"The Forest of What?" Hinata said, starting to feel a headache coming on, but Inner Hinata had already retreated into Hinata's mind.

Hmm, while she's gone I might as well start on this test, Hinata thought giving it a good look over. Oh…Hinata sweat dropped at the complicated questions, no wonder Naruto is having a nervous breakdown.

Hinata looked to her left and looked to her right and once she was sure no one else was looking she activated Byakugan to cheat. Okay, Hinata thought, scanning everyone who should I cheat off of first…maybe Chouji?

Chouji

_"My god he's fat" Inner Hinata whispered, back from her lecture about not revealing the plot._

"Stop it he's a friend…now lets cheat off of him" Hinata whispered mentally and looked at his paper.

_"We can't use his paper…its covered in fudge, chips, pretzels…hey is that a chicken bone?" _

"Okay, maybe not him, lets try Shikamaru…I heard that he's pretty smart!"

Shikamaru

"I-Is that drool?!" Hinata murmured severely grossed out.

_"Well, I do believe it is, is he asleep, or is it some new jutsu or something?"_

"I thought Ino and Chouji said he was really smart?!"

_"If as in smart you mean lazy and sleep deprived, then yes, he is very smart"_

"Fine we can't use his paper, let's try Sakura!"

Sakura

Sakura was busy scribbling away on her paper, filling in all the questions with the right answers.

"I must be intelligent, I must do well on this exam," she muttered to herself, "So far it's my only redeeming feature in the eyes of the fans!"

_"Wow that girl can write!" Inner Hinata exclaimed, watching as Sakura furiously filled in her paper._

"She's perfect! Lets get her answer's lets see…" Hinata eagerly copied off of Sakura even while Ino used her mind jutsu on her.

_"Hmm, do you think we should help her somehow since Ino's taken over her body?" Inner Hinata asked._

Hinata thought for a second. "Nope" she said shaking her head, "Think of this as payback for not telling me exactly what these pills do!"

_"I like your thinking!" Inner Hinata said giving her a thumbs up, "But aren't we forgetting someone?"_

"Oh no Naruto!" Hinata exclaimed and looked over to her crush, who was now banging his head (hard) against the desk.

_"Ritalin!" Inner Hinata cried in a singsong voice. _

Hinata ignored her "How can I help Naruto…I don't want him to fail"

_Inner Hinata sighed "Why don't we just let him cheat_ _of of you?"_

"But what if I get caught?!"

_"Hinata" Inner Hinata started putting an arm around 'Real' Hinata's shoulder "If Naruto fails this test, he won't be a Chuunin. If he's not at least a Chuunin, we're going to have to find someone else to stalk, I mean admire! Not to mention how will we move that Naruto shrine we have in our closet? I mean, it took forever, to make that 7 foot long Paper Mache sculpture of his head!_

Hinata considered this. Yes the Paper Mache sculpture took forever and grabbing some of Naruto's underwear from his room when he was gone took awhile to…she didn't want all of her efforts gone to waste.

She turned to Naruto, bending a little so that he would notice her.

"N-Naruto-kun you can look at my test!" she whispered barely moving her lips.

"Really Hinata, wow, thanks" Naruto exclaimed nearly jumping out of seat, "But why would you do something like that for me?"

_"Because we don't want to move a 7 foot wide sculpture of your head out of a 6 foot wide closet!" Inner Hinata scoffed, but Real Hinata ignored her._

"Because I don't want you to disappear here" Hinata murmured, blushing and starting to twiddle her fingers around.

"What?" Naruto said, squinting his eyes.

_"Wait no, you can't confess your love to him yet, this is only like, the 45 chp, and the 25 episode, you can't reveal this yet!" Inner Hinata yells. _

"Eep, D-did I j-just say what I t-think I said!" Hinata stutters in her mind jumping up and down like a banshee.

_"Hurry, lie and we can save this subplot, lie I say LIE!!" Inner Hinata screams also jumping up and down and pulling her hair. _

Naruto looks innocently at Hinata as her face contorts from surprise, to sever blushing, to finally a very calm expression. My god, she really is a weirdo, Naruto mutters under his breath.

"See the 9 of us are the only rookies here, we need to work together!" Hinata says smiling but still blushing so hard she looks like a beet root.

"Oh yea! Thanks Hinata!" Naruto says getting ready to cheat off of Hinata's paper.

_"Whew, the crisis is over, damn you sure can think on your feet!" Inner Hinata smiles, wiping the sweat off of her forehead. _

"Yeah, you have to when you live with that monster of a little sister Hanabi (or Marjani or Meridia) Hinata replies, looking relieved that her plot hadn't been resolved so quickly.

_"Don't celebrate yet my pupil-less friend, Naruto's looking at you!" Inner Hinata pointed at Naruto from Hinata's mind._

Hinata looked back over at Naruto.

"Hinata" Naruto said looking down, "You don't understand…"

_"I don't understand what you blonde haired, orange wearing, squinty eyed bastard!!" Inner Hinata yelled about to break free and break some bones at any minute. _

"An incredible ninja like me doesn't need to cheat!" he grinned, giving her a thumbs up.

Hinata gave an inward sigh of relief, "Oh it's just that!"

_"Huh, and here I thought he was actually going to say something believable" Inner Hinata grumbled. _

The test wore on and eventually, Ibiki growled at them all to prepare for question 10.

Ibiki gave his lovely monologue about the tenth question, causing almost half of all the teams left in the test to flee.

_"Holy shit…" Inner Hinata said looking rather forlorn._

"Th-this kind of makes m-me loose my c-confidence" Hinata stuttered, also rather depressed about the whole situation.

_"Oh please, as if you had any confidence to begin with!"_

"H-Hey I'm not a total basket case!"

_"Look Naruto's raising his hand!" _

Hinata watched, appalled, as Naruto raised his shaking hand.

"Naruto-kun, no!" Hinata squealed in her mind.

_Inner Hinata only snorted, "And to think we liked this wimp…"_

"Don't under estimate me! " Naruto yelled, slamming his palm against the desk, "I will not run!"

"Whew! That was close!"

_"Yes, I almost lost all my love; I mean admiration, for him!"_

And Naruto gave his glorious monologue (except it was more annoying then Ibiki's).

Then came the wonderful plot twist.

"I congratulate you on passing the first test!" Ibiki roared across the classroom.

_"That son-of-a cow eating mongrel bitch!" Inner Hinata screeched. _

"Language, inner Hinata, language!" Hinata scolded, giggling.

Ibiki (of course) had to give his explanation on how this came to be (you readers do realize we have no creative idea's of how to get through the parts that don't involve Hinata so we've been brought down to just doing one liners about them right?).

"Hmm, that was pretty clichéd…why couldn't he have just given us the ultra hard question?"

_"Because, Naruto would've been too stupid to answer it, hey look Naruto's nodding his head acting like he knows what Ibiki was talking about!"_

"Awww, how cute!"

Hinata outwardly giggled, while Inner Hinata sighed, shaking her head at Naruto's IQ of a cashew.

Ibiki continued his long drawn out monologue (almost as long and drawn out as this chapter!) till Anko came along acting like a female version of Naruto, but with a better fashion sense.

Of course this is around the time the "inner" pills wore off, resulting in Inner Hinata fading away again. But she'll be back. Hinata has 15 more pills left!

_Great! We had fun writing this chapter, haha, Hinata's a junkie (we're horrible!). If you guys liked this chp. with Elriga's tampering then tell me, and I'll keep letting her help. If you didn't, well, I'll fire her and junk up her room when she isn't looking (ow, Elriga, no, stop hitting!). Please review!_


	3. Hinata in Wonderland

_Meridia's back so all three of us will be contributing to this fanfic. If you don't like her humor then I'll kick her out just like I would kick out Elriga (yes dear readers I would fire my own twin sister for you). Anyway…let's get on with this._

Italics like _this_, means Inner Hinata's talking (or more like thinking)

Parentheses like (this) mean me and Elriga and Meridia are adding our little commentary in (only for the sake of humor mind you and all of it has to do w/ the story!)

_Disclaimer: None of us own Naruto even though I'm sure Meridia and Elriga would kill me for the rights (aww, their nodding their heads, such sisterly love)_

(This takes place during the Forest of Death scenes)

Hinata lagged behind while all the other ninja's followed Instructor Anko to the scene of their next exam. She reached into her kunai pouch and popped 3 more pills. She saw a huge forest in view and had a bad feeling that this could take awhile.

_"Hey what's up?" Inner Hinata questioned chewing on some imaginary rice balls. _

"It's the second exam" Hinata answered looking around nervously twiddling her fingers. Anko was pointing up at the forest, but Hinata was barely paying attention till Naruto spoke up.

"You'll soon find out why it's called the Forest of Death" Naruto said repeating what Anko said with his hands on his hips.

_"Oh great, not only does he have ADHD he's also gay" Inner Hinata looked over at real Hinata, "You sure know how to pick em don't you?" _

Hinata ignored her inner self and continued listening to Naruto.

"You think that scares me?" He yelled pointing at Anko, "That's nothing! I'm not afraid!!"

Hinata clasped her hands together and sighed. "Oh he's so brave" she whispered.

_Inner Hinata face palmed herself and shook her head. "Didn't we already go thru this with Ibiki?" _(Yeah…I mean wasn't that like the same thing he said to Ibiki? Oh well doesn't matter…carrying on)

Just then a kunai came whizzing by, slicing Naruto's cheek and piercing the ground.

_"Oh no she didn't!!" Inner Hinata yelled, kicking and screeching and making a rather large racket in Hinata's head, "No one touches our Naruto-kun like that and lives to tell the tale!!"_

"Calm down, calm down I'm sure she was just….OH MY…"

Anko was licking the blood on Naruto's cheek…which was rather erotic…in a weird way.

Hinata stood awestruck watching the site, blushing hard and twitching a little. _Inner Hinata's lines went a little something like this: "Motherf****** b**** daughter of a son of a b**** s*** d*** I wish it was me…oh and f***!!!"_

After Orochimaru…opps I mean random ninja 1 screws around with Anko and she lets Naruto go, Anko handed out the release forms.

Hinata was still traumatized by what she had just scene so she mutely received her form and left to fill it out.

"Hm, lets see, I blank agree that should I be killed, murdered, mutilated or harmed in any other way it is not the fault of Anko Mitarashi or any of her fellow comrades. Oh my god…" Hinata blinked and felt herself shaking.

_"Hey let me read that…lets see…wow…y'know we are so going to die."_

"N-no we're not…at least I hope not…"

Picking up her form after writing her name on the blank space, Hinata went to join her teammates to return their forms and receive their scrolls.

"Yahoo!!" Kiba yelled smiling as he received his teams scroll, "Survival is our specialty, don't go soft on us Hinata!!"

_"Bastard…who does he think he's talking to?"_

"Hush he's a teammate" Hinata scolded.

_"I don't care who he is…or thinks he is" Inner Hinata said folding her arms, "I'll Byakugan and gentle fist his ass". _

Hinata walked over to a small clearing near a tree to try and clear her head when…

_"Hey we have a visitor…none other then the gay ADHD crush to come and make our lives more difficult!"_

Hinata wanted to just go crawl in a hole somewhere and sob. "And my family wonders why I'm neurotic" she wailed.

"Hey Hinata" Naruto said waving, walking closer and closer to her.

"Oh my, he's coming closer, what should I do what should I do!!" Hinata was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.

_"Oh, Jesus…fine offer him some of that special medicine you have for that very sexy albeit disturbing cut Anko gave him". _

"H-Here N-N-Naruto-kun" Hinata stood her head bowed offering the medicine…to bad she didn't see him completely ignore her and keep walking.

"D-Did he just ignore me?!" Hinata cried when she looked up and saw no Naruto.

_"Wow!!" Inner Hinata was on the floor (that is if you can call the bottom of somones mind a floor) laughing her ass off. _

"That's it…I think I'm switching to Kiba…"

_"That's what you get for liking an idiot…why can't you be a normal girl and slobber all over Sasuke, or Edward Cullen"._

"Who is that?"

_"Oh sorry wrong time period" (every girl in my school….every single last one won't shut up about the Cullen's). _

Hinata, Kiba and Shino all sat crouched ready to spring thru the gate and begin the exams.

"Okay!!" Anko yelled, somehow loud enough for everyone to hear her, "Let the 2nd Chuunin Exams begin!!"

THE FOREST OF DEATH!!!

Hinata stood with her Byakugan activated searching for enemies while Kiba and Shino prepared their deadly trap.

"Hn, no one around for awhile"

_"Their all late…very late, their going to miss the date we've prepared for them with death". (Yea…we know how horrible that sounds)._

"Hurry Hinata!" Kiba yelled, "We're done preparing the trap".

"Oh, um they are about 3 minutes away" Hinata muttered, eyeing her prey.

"Good now, we wait for em!" Kiba said with a satisfied smirk.

_"Hey while we're waiting lets go try and find Naruto! Maybe some enemy ninja stripped him down and right now are cutting him everywhere and licking his blood". A very disturbing shiver went down Inner Hinata at the thought of it. _

"W-What?! N-No! That doesn't even make sense!" Hinata yelled blushing furiously at the thought.

_Inner Hinata sighed and shook her head "It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change". _

"I can't anyway because our victims are coming" Hinata hissed at the other Hinata.

"Kiba! They'll be here any second now!" Hinata yelled.

Kiba nodded and set his brilliant trap with Shino into motion.

_"Y'know something Hinata?" Inner Hinata began overtop of the screams and cries of anguish of the three unfortunate ninja, "Everyone else in this team has some sort of pet…why don't we have one?"_

"Hm, you're right, I'm not sure why" Hinata said thoughtfully looking up at the mutilated ninja's begging for mercy.

_"We should get a pet…how about a lizard with a ladder?"_

"No why would I want a lizard?"

_"Fine, stick with having Naruto as your pet, I bet he isn't even housetrained!"_

"Why you!!"

"Hey Hinata stop spacing out!" Kiba called waving his arms, "They had an Earth scroll so let's get to the castle!"

Hinata nodded her head and started running with her teammates.

--------

During the run Kiba being his Kiba self was acting like jerk to Shino and Hinata tried to defend him and blah blah blah…lets get to the stuff we can actually write about.

---------

"Hey Hinata, can you look about 1km west, I smelled something funny" Kiba growled looking west.

_"Don't take orders from him, this is the feminist era, you are your own woman!"_

"Oh do be quiet" Hinata whispered in her mind and mentally rolling her eyes.

"Um, sure, Byakugan"

"What do you see?" Kiba asked looking from the west to her.

"Well…um, there's people fighting over there, so um, I think it would be a good idea…"

"'Okay!" Kiba yelled jumping up and down like and idiot, "Lets go over there!"

(Wait, wait, stop the writing. This guy knows people are fighting in that general direction and the whole point of this is to learn _survival_ skills. How the hell did he get past Ibiki…oh wait that's right…damn plot).

_"What the HELL?!?" Inner Hinata yelled pulling her hair, "This guy is going to get us killed, hurry Hinata kill him before he can lead us to oblivion!" _

Poor Hinata could do nothing but stutter while Kiba ran off to the west and Shino shaking his head ran along.

_"Jesus, I can see now why your dad disowned you" Inner Hinata muttered, "Oh well, lets follow them, we don't want Shino at least to die alone". _

Gaara vs. Rabid Twilight Fans (Opps I meant 3 Rain Ninja…that's What I meant…yea…)

As Hinata, Shino and Kiba hid like bunnies behind the bushes Gaara faced off with the 3 ninja.

"Hn" Gaara growled narrowing his eyes at the ninja, "Let me pass or die".

"Like no" one of ninja said rolling his eye, "We heard you were criticizing the Twilight books so we're like going to have to set you straight".

"Like, yea, totally" the other ninja said smiling and giggling, "Twilight is, like, the best book ever, it's like, so totally inspiring".

"If you don't like the Twilight novels then, you're not even a real girl, or man…or human," the last ninja said chewing some gum.

"My god" Temari yelled, getting pissed off, "For the last time I like Twilight just as much as any other, but Jesus, can't I just point out some things that aren't right without you jumping on me?"

"OMG no!" ninja one cried his eyes nearly popping out, "If you're a real fan you'd think the series was perfect!"

"Like totally" said ninja two flipping her hair, "Edward is like totally not abusive, taking the engine out of Bella's car so she couldn't see her friend was, like, totally an act of love and like totally not like an insane person".

"Look I'm getting tired of this bulls***" Gaara yelled, "I never even read the damned series, Sand Tomb!!"

Then the bad Twilight fans were punished with death for their lack of debate skills and a brain (all the good Twilight fans get to come with me to Hinata's wedding to Naruto, and there will be cake, chocolate orgasm cake, with red sprinkles!).

_"That" Inner Hinata said with her hands over her eyes "Was the most evil thing I've ever seen!"_

"D-Did he just crush them with sand…?" Hinata asked her hands over her eyes.

_"Yes, yes he did, you wanna know what Hinata, let's screw over Kiba and Shino and get the hell out of here"._

"Um, they already left us" Hinata said looking around and seeing no Kiba or Shino or even Akamaru.

_"Bastards! C'mon lets catch up to them". _

------

The Last Leg of the Journey!! (Finally thank god!!)

"I'm so tired" Hinata muttered dragging her feet. After running like hell away from Gaara and catching up to Kiba and Shino she was exhausted.

_"C'mon Hinata, just think of how impressed Naruto will be when he see's that you reached the castle!" _

"That's a lie, he won't even notice"

_"Well excuse me for trying to help you out, fine, collapse and die here, see if I care"_

"Well, if I die, you die also, so I don't think you want me doing that"

_"Walk Hinata, walk faster!"_

"H-Hey what's that?" Hinata yelled pointing at a purple striped cat lying lazily on a tree limb.

Kiba and Shino both looked up and started at the purple striped cat who it seemed on a closer look was muttering to itself.

_"Wow, you don't see that everyday now do you Hinata?" Inner Hinata asked giggling _

"Stay back" Kiba ordered eyeing the cat warily, "It could be dangerous, Hinata use Byakugan to see if it's some trap".

"Okay, Byakugan…um, it doesn't have a physical form, it's a genjustu!"

The cat was now singing louder and repeating the same lyrics: all mimsy were the borogroves/ and the mome raths outgrabe!

_"Ugh, this thing is annoying let's kill it!" _

"We can't" Hinata explained eyeing the cat warily "It's a genjutsu, we'd have to kill who ever is controlling it".

"Lets just walk past it and see what it does" Kiba said edging closer to the cat, with Akamaru hiding behind his legs.

Team 8 slowly edged across the tree and almost got away from the cat till it spoke up.

"I'm the Cheshire Cat, who are you, where are you going?" it said smiling creepily.

Then Team 8 stopped and stared at it.

_"Did that cat just talk to us?" Inner Hinata asked hugging herself and staring at the cat. _

"It's a genjutsu, so I guess it can talk" Hinata answered equally creeped out by the cat.

"We should answer it" Kiba said staying a healthy distance from the cat, "It might be a test to get into the castle…Hinata, talk to it!"

_"What! Why that dirty little coward!"_

"It's just a genjutsu…I'll be fine" Hinata said trying to reassure herself.

_"Yea you keep telling yourself that until it jumps up and scratches the hell out of your face…"_

"I-I'm Hyuuga Hinata and these are my teammates, and um, we're going to the castle in the middle of the forest"

"All ways lead to the castle" it replied still smiling.

_"What the hell?"_

"Um, maybe it really is out to help us…I think".

"W-Well, um, could you maybe help us find our way to the castle?"

"Well, it depends on were you want to go."

"Um, uh, i-it doesn't really matter as long as we get to the c-castle"

"Then it doesn't really matter which way you go" as the cat said this is slowly disappeared till only its eerie smile was left, and then that to disappeared.

_"We should've tried to kill it, now I'm going to be seeing it in my nightmares"_

"T-that was weird"

_"Yes…yes it was, lets get the hell out of this f***ing forest before anymore random Disney characters can jump out at us."_

To make a long story short Hinata and company finally hit the castle and to her chagrin Naruto's clothes had not been ripped off of him by some wild animal. Inner Hinata had disappeared but she'll be back…she'll be back (muhahahahahah!!)

_My goodness that was long. In all honesty we had no idea what to do with the Forest of Death scenes so Alice in Wonderland and the whole Twilight thing came out of nowhere. It was pretty hard to think of something to do about the Gaara scene also. I know I'm gonna lose so many readers over this whole chapter...please don't abandon me! And please review, it boosts my self-esteem by leaps and bounds and makes me write a millisecond faster. Oh and by the way did you all catch my Alice in Wonderland quotes? Putting those in made me feel so clever!_


	4. Epic Foreshadowing!

_Its been a long time huh? I've been reading ahead in the manga online and I know other people who don't read ahead so I'm not going to ruin it for everyone else. Lets just say I've been very very happy. If you do read ahead in the manga then you know what I'm talking about. _

Italics like _this_, means Inner Hinata's talking (or more like thinking)

Parentheses like (this) mean me and Elriga and Meridia are adding our little commentary in (only for the sake of humor mind you and all of it has to do w/ the story!)

_Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, we also don't own much of anything else_

(This takes place during the Chuunin Exam preliminaries)

Hinata stood and watched as Kabuto bowed out of the exam. As everyone paid attention to Kabuto she went into her coat pocket and grabbed a couple of pills. As she chewed she looked around at all the contestants, until she saw Neji staring at her (epic foreshadowing!!!). Hinata looked away with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"_Hey is that your asshole of a cousin?" Inner Hinata asked staring at Neji_

"Y-yes…I hope I don't have to fight him"

"_Heh, he's kinda sexy, maybe we should switch to him" Inner Hinata said nibbling on her fingers and still staring at Neji._

"T-That's disgusting! He's my cousin and you just said he was an asshole!"

"_When has any of those two things mattered when someone's in love?"_

"W-What?!"

"_You should get going, everyone else is going up the stairs"_

She looked up and saw Kiba beckoning wildly to her to come up the stairs. As soon as Hinata got up the stairs the computer ( wait pause stop the writing please. They have computers, yet their still using weapons from the middle ages? Where the hell are the guns and the grenades? I know they have jutsu and all but…oh wait I'm rambling again, sorry.) showed that the next fight was…

YOROI vs. SASUKE!!

"_Look at Neji…undressing us with his eyes!" Inner Hinata purred._

"W-Why does he keep l-looking over here" Hinata wailed, "I-I don't think h-he's stopped watching us s-since we g-got here!"

"_M-M-Maybe you should stop stuttering like and idiot and look at the match!" Inner Hinata growled mocking Hinata, "Look Sasuke has a nice ass and he doesn't wear an ugly orange jumpsuit, why don't you like him?"_

"W-What if I have to face N-Neji?" Hinata muttered starting to hyperventilate, "I don't think I could take it!"

"_Oh c'mon, what are the chances of that?(epic foreshadowing!)" Inner Hinata sighed, "And now look, we've missed the whole match!"_

Sasuke had just leashed his Lion Barrage on poor blind Yoroi and won the match. The computer scrambled all the names again revealing that the next match was…

SHINO vs. ZAKU!!

"_He's our teammate, we have to look at this one!"_

"Yea but he's c-creepy, he has bugs living in his body!"

"_Hey remember when he tried to get you to touch that tarantula, and you got so scared you fainted!" Inner Hinata snickered_.

"Y-Yea" Hinata sighed, "That was…"

"_Or what about the time Kiba and Shino but bugs in your kunai pouch so that when you reached into it a bunch of bugs came out!" Inner Hinata said cackling. _

"O-Okay enough! Lets just look at the…Oh my god…"

This was about the time Shino put bugs into poor Zaku's arms, which is very creepy and disgusting.

"Wow…I didn't know Shino was so…mean"

"_Really, even after all the stuff I just told you?"_

"I-I just thought they were pranks…"

"_If I was Zaku I would be going ballistic right now…I mean, I'd be going really crazy if he put f***ing bugs in my arms. Not cool Shino, just not cool."_

After Zaku was pathetically wheeled away, the computer scrambled up all the names announcing that the next match was…

KANKURO VS. THAT…GUY…OH WHO CARES, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO SKIP THIS FIGHT BECAUSE ITS USELESS…SPEAKING OF WHICH…

SAKURA vs. INO!!

"_Oh god, its those two, never mind I don't even wanna watch"._

"Their both fellow kunoichi we're going to show respect and watch the match".

"_Um, Hinata don't look now, but Neji is still staring at us!" Inner Hinata whispered in Hinata's head (which is totally unnecessary seeing as she's in Hinata's head so therefore no one can hear her except Hinata.). _

Hinata felt a cold shiver down her back and she used her Byakugan to look around. She saw Neji staring at her, his pale eyes bearing down on her.

"W-Why w-won't he s-stop looking at me!" Hinata squealed starting to get seriously creeped out.

"_Yikes, this guy is a freak, he won't stop looking at you and he looks like he wants to y'know, kill you (epic foreshadowing!)._

"D-Don't say that!"

"_Okay fine, oh look, the two bitches knocked each other out…how ironic"_

Sakura and Ino's worthless butts were grabbed and the matches continued with…

SHIKAMARU vs. no one because we're skipping the next two fights. They have nothing to do with the story and frankly none of us here really likes these two fights. Shikamaru wins and so does Temari, and that's all you really need to know.

NARUTO vs. KIBA

"Oh, no!" Hinata lamented, putting her hands over her mouth, " Who am I supposed to root for?!"

"_Huh, well you got me stumped there, Kiba smells like dog, Naruto smells like pee, and they both wear huge coats that aren't attractive at all. Their both equally unattracting." _

"Naruto does not smell like pee! I've never even gotten close enough to smell him!"

"_Well y'know how you look at someone and you can kind of smell them just by looking at them. That's what I smell when I look at Naruto, I smell pee."_

"You're gross"

"_Yea well, you have a inferiority complex and look like Dora the Explorer oh look ouch, Naruto just got pounded by Kiba!"_

Hinata looked down to see Naruto lying on the ground from a punch from Kiba's "Down on All Fours: Beast Mimicry!"

"_Wow, that was quick" Inner Hinata muttered scowling down at Naruto._

"Oh poor Naruto!"

"_I knew he was a…oh, wait my mistake he's getting up, lets watch the crap get kicked out of him again."_

Naruto staggered to his feet, blood dribbling from his mouth and yelled "Don't underestimate me!!!" "Go Naruto!" Sakura yelled from the stands.

"_Back off bitch" Inner Hinata said, "He's mine!"_

"Oh Naruto, I knew you could do it!" Hinata said with a smile, " And let her root for him, she is his teammate after all."

"_What if it was us lying down there, I'm sure Naruto would be cheering us on (epic foreshadowing!)._

"Yea you're right, but instead of cheering him on, I think I'll just stand here and show looks of worry every time he gets hurt".

"_Sounds like a plan to me, oh look he's down on the ground"_

(cue look of worry from Hinata)

Akamaru ran up to Kiba and then, bit him.

"_Damn dog, see, this is exactly why we only like cats and lizards with ladders Hinata!"_

"No, look!"

Akamaru had suddenly turned into Naruto biting Kiba. Another shadow doppelganger of Naruto's was hanging on to the real Akamaru.

"_Um, that's really nasty, imagine kissing him Hinata, he'll taste like Kiba!"_

"Oh, N-Naruto th--" Hinata said out loud before she was interrupted by Sakura screaming "That was awesome Naruto!"

"That's what I was going to say!" Hinata wailed in her own mind again.

"_That bitch, have you noticed that she's been cutting us off and cheering for Naruto a lot lately, didn't she like hate him?"_

"Y-Yea now that you mention it…"

"_I hope this isn't some sort of sick foreshadowing of her liking Naruto (not so epic foreshadowing!)"._

"Yea…oh no, its Kiba's ultimate taijutsu!"

"_Well what is it?!"_

"Its!…" (Its were skipping it, because we don't want the Chuunin exam chapter to drag on forever).

"_Wow__…look at Naruto lying on the ground there"_

"Oh no, I hope he's all right, look at the blood coming from his mouth…"

"_Yea I would hate for that to happen to us (epic foreshadowing!)"._

Naruto pathetically scraped at the ground. "I'm gonna be the Hokage" he said, "I won't lose now!" "You? The Hokage?" Kiba replied with a snort, "Noone thinks you can become the Hokage, not even yourself, so how about this, I'll be the Hokage in your place!"

"_Yea right" Inner Hinata snorted, "Nobody wants a Hokage who smells like a dog"_

"Oh Kiba" Hinata suddenly thought, "Naruto is no weakling and I wish I had even half the confidence he's always shown in himself. His courage is amazing I…" Suddenly Hinata felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. Inner Hinata was behind her, smiling and smacking her hands together.

"Ow, what in the world was that for?!" Hinata screamed.

"_Sorry I know this is one of your only monologues in the whole series but I don't want to hear it"._

"W-What, what series?!"

"_Sorry, its just that this battle is taking longer to end then Myst…or a game of Monopoly."_

"What are you talking about?"

"_Hinata logic has an uncle, his name is shut the f*** up!"_

"That's not how the saying goes"

"_Its gonna go however I want it to go…oh yea and Naruto's about to unleash some killer attack or something stupid like that"._

Hinata looked down at the arena. Kiba was just about to punch Naruto when he farted…yea.

"That's it I'm going to become a nun".

"_I would laugh but I'm not, this is just really, really sad and embarrassing. I'm glad we haven't told anyone else we had a crush on him" Inner Hinata scowled looking down as Naruto (finally) defeated Kiba with the seemingly only technique he's good at, shadow doppelgangers. _

Hinata frowned a little, "Wasn't that attack almost identical to Sasuke's Lion Barrage?"

"_Yes, yes it was. Lets see Naruto has ADHD, he's gay, he has no fashion sense, he smells like pee, and now he's a plagiarist…wow Hinata, you sure have hit the Jackpot on this one."_

"Be quiet, he's coming up here! N-no, what should I do, what should I do?!" Hinata had started freaking out sweating and having heart palpitations.

"_Oh good God, just give him the damn medicine that you didn't give him before you f***ing psycho"._

Hinata handed Naruto the healing salve, which he (surprisingly) accepted and didn't break in his craziness.

"_See, that wasn't so hard" Inner Hinata crooned into Hinata's ear._

"I think I'm going to be sick" Hinata moaned but still smiling at her sudden courage.

"_Well I guess this isn't a good time to mention that Neji is still staring at you"_

Hinata looked over to see Neji's cold lavender eye's baring down into her soul reading her every movements.

"O-Oh my G-God! Why w-won't h-he stop l-looking at me!"

"_Well maybe if you hadn't of developed so quickly…"_

"Stop it and help me!!" Hinata almost screamed, on the verge of tears.

"_Calm down, c'mon think on it logically. There's only six contestants left, including yourself. That means you only have a 1/5 or 20% chance of facing Neji (my math isn't what it used to be so there's a high "probability" that this is wrong (tee hee I made a joke). Those aren't good odds, so you should be safe (epic foreshadowing!). Anyway if it makes you feel any better we'll get his eyes off of our back and go give dog boy some healing salve."_

Hinata went down the stairs to catch Kiba before he was dragged away by the medic ninja's.

"Don't fight Neji or Gaara ,Hinata," he said, "You'd be torn to pieces."

"_That bastard who does he think he is, disregarding us like that"._

Before Hinata could answer Hayate had already let the computer calculate, completely at random (supposedly), who would be fighting who next.

HINATA VS. NEJI!!!

"_Oh…shit" Inner Hinata murmured (in the manga you can just see the oh shit look on Hinata's face, its sad but priceless!!), "I totally didn't see that one coming…". _

"Why does God hate me!?" Hinata wailed in her head, feeling the sudden need to lie down somewhere and sob.

Inner Hinata felt a sudden need to…the sudden need to run away. But before she could fade out of existence…

"Oh no you don't!" Real Hinata yelled grabbing Inner Hinata by what little hair she had, "If I'm going to get the crap kicked out of me then you're going to get it kicked out with me!"

And so both Hinata and Inner Hinata (completely unwillingly) scuttled to the center of the arena to face their half brother (their fathers are twins)/ cousin.

To be continued (epic foreshadowing!).

_That took forever to finish, but I'm glad we were able to. If you haven't read ahead in the manga try it, it always gives me something good to look forward to every week. Hinata vs. Neji an epic showdown (that everyone already knows the ending to). _


End file.
